1. People who wear sunglasses while working out. What is with the incessant need to look hip, even in the face of sweating, turning pink, and stinking up the gym with b.o.? Am I supposed to be entranced by your steamy lenses? Are you a secret agent?
2. Hippies who make out at Trader Joe’s. I run across this a lot, but I guess the opportunity arises when people stand in line for 20+ min during the afternoon rush. PDA usually doesn’t bother me unless hands start creeping up shirts or down pants, but it’s kind of hard to look away when you’re 4 inches in front of me the entire wait and everyone is packed together like sardines (I couldn’t even step backwards because the granny behind me kept running over my heel with her dolly). I’m grossed out by the dirty hair, jeans that look like they haven’t been washed in 5 years, necking, baby talk, and all the goddamn soy products in your shopping cart. Please don’t make out so close to me, especially when you’re not that cute.
3. Why aren’t Tim Tams available in the U.S. year round?! I first had these scrumptious biscuits at work; my managing director brought them in and tried to pass them off as some high-falutin’ Australian delicacy. Funny how I later saw them selling in a London candy shop for like 1 GBP. Cheap or not, run to your nearest Target and scoop them up PRONTO.
Ah, that feels better. Maybe this will be a weekly installment, like the “Your Dog Sucks” feature Danny and I whipped up while at the Tompkins Square Dog Park this weekend. That’s for tomorrow.
