Choose Your Own Adventure

from archie mcphee:

This is not a costume. This is a kit to completely transform your beloved pug or beagle from a cute canine to the ultimate unicorn. It includes screw-in horn, hoof attachments, medical grade glue, peroxide, mane fur, a tail and a handful of glitter! Just peroxide the color out of your dogs hair and attach the fur and accessories with glue. Once you have the horn in place (Dremel not included) your beloved pooch will be ready to accompany you to fairyland. Please specify size of dog when ordering. Not legal in California, New Mexico and part of Maine.

as much a i luv unicorns, i’m not sure how this glittery torture device is legal anywhere.  my little heart is torn between the righteousness of having my own unidog and the sheer horror of bleaching a dog’s hair, gluing on the hooves and mane, and oh, drilling a horn into his skull. wtf.  why couldn’t the hooves be slip on booties or something?  i don’t even want to think about the horn anymore.